Meant for Me – Now, Meant for You: Proper Care and Feeding for the Caregiver

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Telling someone in crisis to think positive thoughts is like telling someone with two broken legs to stand up. When going through difficult situations, happy thoughts are often not as available as they once were. Telling a patient or caregiver to think positively can cause them to feel unnecessary guilt or internal pressure. Instead of telling someone to think positive thoughts, take some of the pressure off and bring the positivity yourself. Reminisce a funny memory. Share something hilarious you saw a stranger do the other day.

Show them the latest cat video that made you smile.



The positive effects of laughter are immense, causing a rush of endorphins, physical relaxation, and boosting the immune system. Right now, it makes perfect sense that their focus is on the child who is unhealthy. Inquiring about their friends and family can be a great way to take their mind off things. Just avoid asking how their friends and family are coping, and instead focus on more positive questions like how the soccer team is doing, or how the school play is going. Saying something is always better than saying nothing.

As her muscles return to normal, keep moving the BC farther away from the bed towards the toilet she is used to using. Again, a prescription from the doctor would put the cost of a BC in Medicare hands. You asked about Medicaid which I am familiar with.

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In each state there is a maximum a person can have in assets for Medicaid to kick in. Some states call it Family Health Services. This website. Click on the state you are in to locate your local AAA. That includes home ownership, investments and money in the bank.

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SIS does not have prescription coverage under Medicare, so Medicaid picks it up. SIS now lives in assisted living not a nursing home. Here are some other websites to look at as a caregiver: Ten Caregiver Commitments Take them to heart!

This one was found to be the best one out by one of our members. Thanks so much for your insightful response. I haven't been on here much since I posted because I've spent most of my time at the hospital. Things changed and not for the better after I posted my plea for help here. We had to rush her to the ER and this time, after a battery of tests, they found other "complications" which ended up with her in ICU - she had a kidney infection she's been on antibiotics , blood clots in her left leg she was on blood thinners and 2 days ago had a filter put in to catch the clots that have not resolved , low hemoglobin she got a blood transfusion , dementia final diagnosis done today - no treatment plan yet , and low blood pressure it's intermittent so no treatment plan yet.

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In her "foggy" state, she's pulled out IVs several times and, today, her foley cath. She also forgets where she is and thinks she's back in her old house at times or back home instead of here in the US with us. So, now she just wets the bed constantly - she doesn't call for the nurses.

In her mind, she's gone to the bathroom herself.

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Or, at least, that's what she told me when I asked her why she didn't call for someone to help her to the bathroom. My husband, my brother, and I spoke with the doctors and their recommendation for the next step is skilled nursing care. Due to her other complications, they don't think we can provide her the care she'll require by ourselves at home. As exhausted as we all are right now, I tend to agree at this point. As I said, this all happened right before I could sign her up for health insurance so all this will be out of pocket for us.

Due to her not having any income, we tried to look into Medicaid for help but could never get a straight answer from anyone - some say she's not eligible because she's a permanent resident instead of a citizen and some she is eligible even as a resident only.

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No one seems to know - even the Medicaid attorney we spoke with. Because of this the nursing home we spoke with is now delaying her admission and she's in limbo in the hospital. We certainly can't afford to pay for this privately - that would be my entire paycheck and then some every month. The only option left appears to be to just check her out of the hospital and bring her home with us but I don't know if we can really care for her well enough - she seems to need more care now.

Yes, I am freaking out. I don't know what to do! Storme, could you speak with a hospital social worker to see what could be done to apply for retroactive coverage for her stay, and get her enrolled in some type of coverage for skilled nursing care?? I don't believe that bringing her home with you is a feasible solution at this point, given all of her acute needs. Keep pushing until you get some answers. I'm sorry the Medicaid attorney was not more helpful Medicaid is a state-run agency.

From experience I am positive your mother is eligible for Medicaid as a resident alien. My mother-in-law was a resident alien and was part of her state's Medicaid program. Thank you all for your guidance. I really appreciated your help.

Unsure Of Next Step - Continue Home Care Or Consider Nursing Home?

She did get on Medicaid in the end. Not for very long, though. My mom passed away a couple months ago.

Skip to main content. Log in or register to post comments. Last post. Storme, Welcome to this forum. A few other ideas came to mind also. I checked Amazon.